I had realized it, but I really, really wasn’t in the mood to deal with it. The sugar monster had entered back into my life in so many sweet, wonderful ways, but instead of barely peaking his head then lumbering off to hibernate, he came with a vengeance and is camping out.
September, vacations, and indulgence happened. Then coming back to Squamish, house-sitting for a couple weeks, then back to our house, feeling overwhelmed with lack of baby naps and sleep, the laundry that is piled everywhere, the list that I have created for myself of things that need to get done but really don’t . . . all those things have sent me reaching for a strawberry pop-tart (my dirty, secret, wonderful love) or a cookie now and again. Those things aren’t evil in and of themselves (no one would call cookies evil!) but I just noticed a pattern of emotional sweet-grabbing that has plagued me before, except last time it went unchanged and I ended up 25 pounds heavier, overly-emotional, high blood sugar, and highly susceptible to mood swings. I had gotten it under control before and didn’t even really have a problem with my pregnancy cravings, because I knew in the back of my mind where it had landed me before. However, now, I need a little reset.
I started a 21 Day Sugar Detox yesterday in hopes that it would curb my cravings and emotions, and get me back on track. I have done this detox before, and because I was early pretty healthily at the time, didn’t see much of a difference in habits. This time, I am tailoring it to make it mine, combining the 21 DSD rules with the rules for the Whole 30 (allowing water kefir, occasional fruit other than 1 green apple a day, etc) to make it more manageable. Also because I know myself, and I know that if someone else’s rules are given to me, I will become rebellious and break. Which is silly and childlike, but that’s just how my brain works. Also, I am noticeably more H U N G R Y this time around! Adding breastfeeding into the mix and I’m having to make sure I’m eating enough for both of us! I will check back in on occasion to let you know how I’m fairing, and if I’ve eaten anyone yet.
Sugar can aide as a mask or a cushion against problems. Giant pile of laundry? Missing family? Won’t stop ever raining? Grab some cookies and milk. They will undoubtedly make you feel better. I will always stand by that, but when it becomes and addition or need, that’s when you need to back off.
In this season of less sugar, I am also seeing the need for less fluff. stripping down my diet means stripping down things that aren’t necessary. In these seasons, I like to wear a lot less makeup, because makeup can be another way of hiding. For the most part it’s fun, but when you think you need it, then it becomes a problem. I want to focus on renewing my skin, taking care of it and not trying to cover it up with anything. There is beauty there that doesn’t need to be covered, beauty in the imperfections, rosy cheeks, tired mama eyes, and the slow formation of wrinkles.
I hope this speaks to you on some level. If you are currently being attacked by the sugar monster, feel free to join me on this body reset! Or if you feel the need to get back to the basics with your makeup or clothes, awesome.
Thanks for letting me overshare, y’all. Here’s a picture of the sweetest little girl you’ve ever seen.