The elevator speech- everyone has one. We are prepared at any given moment to spout off the brief highlights and lowlights of our life lately, being sure to wind very little emotion into our words so people won’t feel like they need to become invested. It’s usually said with a smile, an upbeat attitude, and within 30 seconds to 1 minute. If you are lucky, you may get someone to listening for a few minutes, but that usually only happens if you have experienced a life changing event, or if they aren’t rushing to an appointment. I don’t mind this, and I am guilty of unconsciously expecting others to also abide by this. However, I need to create space for people to talk, to speak the truths that are really on their hearts.
I know I would love to know that there is that space, though, because sometimes I feel as though my heart will burst with all my feels.
When people ask “How’s motherhood?” they expect a short synopsis on how I’m not getting very much sleep, I’m drowning in laundry, and I can’t believe how tired I am, capping it all with a quick “It’s all worth it though.” And though these bits may be true on occasion, they are no where near a reflection of motherhood. I don’t dive into the joy I feel when I wake in the middle of the night to feed her, because while I may be tired, I get giddy at the fact that she wants to eat and be so close to me. I don’t tell you about the times when randomly throughout the day, I come close to tears because I am frustrated without a logical reason, and the tears are welling because of a snap that won’t stay or because I forgot what I was doing (again). I won’t tell you about how I can be tired, but when I look at Mabel’s sweet face, she gives me energy to get through the next moments. I won’t tell you that sometimes I cry out to God for Him to reveal Himself to her early in life, that He would capture her from early on, because I cannot bear to think of her having to go through something without the love and hope she will find in only Him.
Sometimes these moments, along with many more, hit me so sudden and strong, that I am almost embarrassed to share that level of intense depth and vulnerability with someone. But I need to. As a mom and a friend, I need to spill my guts and model vulnerability even though it may not have been what they were looking for. Because in those moments, maybe I can inspire someone else to become vulnerable and raw as well. Maybe then we won’t feel like all we have to share with one another is an upbeat synopsis, but we can share our truest heart, struggles, and truth.